Basically

I would like to feel like I'm enough.

I would like to feel unique and special.
helpful.
loved.
needed.



I don't want to feel ashamed.
alone.
worthless.
uncared for.

The closer we get, the more difficult it becomes.
I want to believe in Love. I want to KNOW Love.



I need someone to love.
Staying near you just reminds me that I have failed, that I am wrong.
If you don't love me, let me go.

I feel like

breaking down and crying.


I'm not going to. I'm going to get up and go about my day. I'm going to finish everything to the best of my abilities.







I'm trapped in something that I don't want and that doesn't want me. What a painful mess.

Where You Are

What can I do to help you?

Name it, and it's done.

The scariest thought is that I contribute to this.

You've helped me in so many ways...

Why is it impossible to return the favor?

Post #200

Dear World:


You are a pain in the ass.
AND I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I figure

if I can look in the mirror every day for months at a time and never notice the scars on my face...


There will come a time when I'll forget all the scars on my soul, too.





:-)







Every day brings the joy of learning something new.




I love it all

Lovely

Lovely lovely!!












Now all I need is a bit of gentlemanly chivalry and I'll be good to go.

Oh dear

Not good day.




Feeling messed up again and sick.




Everything still hurts...can't hold on. Starting to think this whole idea was a bad one. Maybe I should back out?