Home Again.

It's Thanksgiving, so I'm back here and doing the "tradition" thing.


Some very good times...


yet it's also very strange.








Something REALLY good might be brewing here.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I had an amazing weekend.

*Insert look of despair here*

I feel so removed from people. I want to feel connected again.






Where is my connection?

One More

I forgot the tranquility I had over the summer when I was one of approx. 25 people on campus. I had my lovely little (well, actually pretty large!) room, a fairly relaxing job, the gym, my own regular schedule...

It was nice.

I think I can find that peace again.


Scratch that. I WILL find that peace again. And soon :-)

Worn Out.

I wake up so early, I work all day...I stay 2 hours after work to do MORE work...I don't eat lunch. I grab dinner, but it's never filling (no matter how much I eat). I work some more, but I'm so exhausted I can barely get through it. I drink frozen cokes and munch on chocolate so that I can stay awake to (mostly) finish it. Then the whole cycle begins again.



I dream of rest.

Do I fit?

There seem to be so many lonely people. Why is that?


There are so many creative people out there. I see the intensity of their living, their expression...I envy it.

I feel very boxed in.

I would like to be a hippie. But my own version of the hippie.

I'd like to follow my whims.

I'd like to paint the world...



I always knew this was there, I just never had such a need to let it be known.

So if I outgrew this place, where do I belong? Is this all just a phase?

Maybe school is unhealthy. It's nothing of the real world. Maybe that's its failure.



Sometimes I don't know who I am or what I'm doing here.


Let's think. I'm here because I believe in passion. I'm here because I want others to know it as well.

I'm confused because I'm not sure how my passion fits into my life anymore.

I'm looking for peace. Sometimes I think I've found it...other times I think I'm just a fool. Most times I think I'm just a fool.

I often feel most lost when everyone around seems to be found.

I really like this.

For now, I'm happy this way. I hope I can stay like this for a while.





22 more days. Though now I'm a little more afraid for it to end than I previously thought.

Less than 6 months now and I'm out in the "real" world.

I feel more like a hippie every day...not sure how that's going to affect everything.



In the meantime, I DO love the holidays :-)

wowwie kaboodles

holy moly.

Choreographer hired for the district danced on Broadway for Bob Fosse.


Super incredibly nice and down to earth.


I spent a good half hour discussing the state of our country's education system with her (in case you didn't realize, it's falling apart).



These are the kinds of conversations I need to have every day.

Relax

Put on some Paul Simon...grab a bag of M&Ms and your warm blankie...





One step at a time. I will be OK. Life will go on. I will find peace.

Bittersweet Existence.

Settle down, soul. Lots to do tomorrow.

Today I want to...

crawl under a rock.

Some good news today.

Finally :-)

!!!!!

So many good songs and so little time!!!!


Bringing in Danny Boy performed by the King's Singers and Sing Sing Sing for my middle schoolers tomorrow - hope they like it :-)

P.S.

I have a secret love of British Isle music...

currently binging on Marie's Wedding (Van Morrison and the Chieftains). It's so joyous!

Forgotten Music

lost an hour or so tonight randomly searching through youtube and my iTunes...

I forgot how amazing Michael Jackson was. Blows my mind.

Kinda started back on a Led Zeppelin phase - dammmmmn good music.




And now I have a new possible dream...I would absolutely love to start and run a music place for underprivileged kids. We'll see. It's a thought...a GOOD thought.



Still lots of work to do tonight. Wish there were about 10 more hours in the day, but what can ya do. Nighters.

I think it's absolutely hysterical

that I spend time creating "ultimate setlists," predicting future album releases/tours, and comparing songs from a year like 1998 to 2005.

Maybe I did.

Maybe it happened again. But I believe that someday it will be different.

I am doing the best I can.




In this world of chaos and nonsense...
I believe that the best we can do means everything.

Just Be Thankful.

Let everything else go.


Just be thankful.

Under no circumstances

will I ever leave you. 100% impossible.

Maybe that makes me weak. More importantly, it means that I put a weight on you. If I had the strength, I would take it all away, I would lift it up and away.

I want to tell the world


I LOVE YOU


and it's the most wonderful, beautiful, soothing, inspiring, encompassing love I can hold.

And I AM crazy - with the passion bottled up inside me.



Your soul speaks to my soul.



Take my hand and hold on tight.

You are my

inspiration.sourceofenergy.confidante.muse.rock.voiceofreason.lover.teacher.companion.friend.


A great overture.


It's impossible.


I'm a fountain of love.











What's the new American Dream? What's MY American Dream?



I must be crazy.




I miss my students too.

Bittersweet

..."collisions are transformative. A relationship can occasionally fulfill a person, but only a collision can transform them."

So many things

to think.

Falling asleep to Eric Clapton's Unplugged.



But I know that it's not real
It's just an illusion



Things are alright. A busy couple of weeks are ahead...hoping for some relaxation soon. Out of nowhere, the guitar's helping. And my reading, of course :-) And my friends.