Thoughts

Getting wasted is disgusting. Drinking for 13+ hours straight is disgusting. Ignoring one's "best friend" for an entire day to go out drinking (for the entire day) is likewise disgusting. I wish my peers could define a "good time" as something they could remember at the end of the day. Whatever happened to good conversation and going out to find new experiences?

Screw this.


I'm overwhelmed when I look at the list of things I need to do before I graduate. I'm constantly exhausted. I'm never good ENOUGH. I'm frustrated. There's never enough time, even when I spend 20 hours a day completely focused and working on things. Even when my school has a random day off from classes so everyone can play on inflatables set up in the quad and the closest I go to any of these activities is watching them from my computer in my room on a live camera feed off the internet. My room's a mess, my weekend is packed with work, my family is a wreck, I'm bitter towards EVERYONE and EVERYTHING and even my random thoughts are full of meanness.

I'm desperate to be understood.

I'm desperate to have a future.

oh no

...Not my birthday :-(

I wish

I had someone to hang out with today. Eating alone at a picnic is just plain worse than eating alone in the dining hall.





But...I was productive. And I will continue to be productive tonight.

I've Got

Such a short amount of time for everything.

There's a man

...outside down the street standing on the sidewalk on a small bridge. He waves at every single car that goes by and smiles. He's been there at LEAST an hour, because I've driven by him several times this morning.

He looks elderly. When there are no cars, he looks off the bridge down onto the stream underneath.

I wanted to stop and see if he was OK. Could he have dementia and be lost? Or is he just a nice old man who likes to do small things to cheer up strangers?



In any case, he's worth pondering.

Happy April :-)

I'm about to start my last college break feeling the best I can: I know what I need to do for the next few months, and I know how to do it.

It's certainly not going to be easy...but I can do it.

Especially with a little help from my friends :-)

Made it through the day

I want to be so much more than I am.