You can try to fix it up all that you like, but it's still no good when I can't figure out a way to be happy even for a bit.
And even thinking about it makes me wish for the way it was in high school...and I know that's not right, and I know things have changed and that I made this decision because I KNEW what the right choice was, and I wanted to say NO I'm not that lonely, I'm not that sad or desperate - I can take what the world throws at me and I can throw it right back atcha, and I'm gonna get what I want, and I'm gonna do it right, and the world's gonna come out better and so will I.
But I still wish sometimes for that connection and that ease with which I could connect with another person and not feel so lonely for a little bit. Back when it all seemed natural...
And then I tell myself it WASN'T easy, and I know that's right.
Internal argument with myself.
Back to lesson planning - I really, really hope my visions come true.
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