Listen up.

I spent the entire car ride home in turmoil trying to decide WHAT to do about how I feel. I felt awful, I felt sick, my brain was spinning just trying to think about the situation.

You know what?

I'm done with this grey crap. I'm done trying to ACCEPT the past year and a half. That's all I used to tell myself every day - "just accept it, it's the only way you can make it through this."

I don't WANT to accept it. That's not how I work. I disagree with what you think, I disagree with how you feel, I disagree with what's going on right now, and I disagree with how we're handling it.

I'm not going to accept ANYTHING anymore. I know how I feel. I know what I think. And you know what? It's NOT grey - it CAN'T be grey. It's black or white, and I know what color I've picked. I'm painting over the grey.

You can pick whichever color you want. You can be with me or without me. You can have me or you can forget me. I don't think the past year and a half has been in vain. I don't think the past year and a half was a mistake. I don't think my emotions lied to me, I don't think my emotions were fake. I wouldn't have been here this long if I didn't believe in US. In what you and I are TOGETHER. I won't settle for second best.

You say you know me - well, you certainly know the worst of me, and I often wish you didn't. I can't change that, but I can stand up for what I believe in. I'm just wondering if you'll come along. If not, I will go alone.

Until further notice, I'm officially on strike.